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## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Spotify truly is something interesting I clicked shuffle play on this rock band I like
Instead it started fucking playing one of the suggested tracks. It was a fucking Ariana Grande song
The band I wanted to listen to is completely underground and not mainstream at all. How ariana grande is in any way similar to them is strange to me
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I Really Don't Like ComplimentsI first need to say, I feel bad making this post because it sounds disrespectful to the good intentions of my friends. I don't like it when people say that I'll make it through tough times, or how I'm competent or how they're proud of me. For some reason it makes me way more panicked, uncomfertable and angry than when someone tells me that I should kill myself.
I don't even know possibly why this stresses me out, but every time someone tries to help me out with words of praise or hopefulness, it just makes everything worse.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Everytime I log on here There never fails to be more than 2-3 posts that contains sexually explicit weird ass horny ass shit here.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Power has been out for hours now I'm gonna die theres nothing to do
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
2nd post of the day: Introduction Hey everyone. My name is Noah Ramos. I'm a sophomore, and I've built enough karma to post and I couldn't be more happy. A little more about myself, I love talking to people, I love helping. I 3d print stuff for myself and others, and I hope 2021 will be a better year. If you wanna talk I am your person to come to if you want. Can't wait for the future. Love you all.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
How long would this video be, If you find a cuties bad meme the video ends I'm putting text here so the post doesn't get removed
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
My GF attempted suicide last night. Please comment I need help processing*This is a burner account.*
I am really struggling to deal with this.
She knows nothing about pharmaceutical drugs... I was hoping maybe this was somewhat accidentally but after checking her google search history - โcan you OD on oxazepamโ itโs pretty clear she intended on dying...
I got my script filled yesterday so she consumed 250mg of diazepam & 375mg of oxazepam and between 4-6 standard drinks of vodka. She has never done anything like this.
She is was on Zoloft then switched to lexapro and has been regularly drinking while on it.
We had been arguing so I went to a friends hoping she would just cool off and it would all be good, it was just petty little relationship stuff but she does also have a lot of other stress going on....
the last few msgs I got from her were somewhat positive - โI love you but I hate saying it when Iโm angryโ and she said something about how she โ I would have would have been hit by a car if it wasnโt for (a local radio station)โ then I missed a few calls from her then she sent me a photo which I didnโt see until 45 minutes later of her with a 20 or so Valium in her hand, then she said โIโm drunk. I donโt know why I did that Iโm trying to throw them up. But Iโm really sleepyโ. Got to my house about 40 minutes later, not even having realised these msgs as my phone was in my bag on silent, and her step-father was waiting out in the street - it was approx 1am by this time, I approached him, he said sheโs passed out mate - blah blah I was drunk as hell, he threatened to knock me out - understandly I guess - I laughed at that threat and said go on mate do it. I then ran inside to find her drifting in and out of consciousness on the kitchen floor and her mother hysterical, I immediately placed her in the recovery position head tilted and got some ice and a cold rag to keep her from drifting off to sleep, it took 1hr and 15 minutes for the ambulance to arrive.. Iโm still processing it but I think this has been the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in a relationship or for that matter my life... Iโm 30 she is 26.
I am terrified and have no idea how to deal with this, especially after a sleepless night and 12 hours sitting in the hospital.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
How do you open up to loved ones about suicidal thoughts?I don't know why I feel suicidal sometimes but I do. I don't want to die but lots of times I don't want to live my life. I have a steady job and am in a long-term relationship. My mother loves me dearly. I should be grateful for the life I have. Yet, ever since I was 20 I have more and more of these thoughts.
How can I talk with my loved ones about my feelings? I fear telling anyone in my family because my father and my uncle both committed suicide so it's a sensitive subject. I'm worried if I tell my friends they'll think I'm just seeking attention. I don't want to tell my girlfriend because, though she may take me seriously, I think she won't know how to help and it'll only make her feel helpless. I'm scared to seek professional help and others in my life may find out and I'd be judged.
I try to remain optimistic and hope the future will bring better days. But as time passes it seems less and less so. Even if nobody ever reads this, I'm glad to have an outlet for my feelings. Thank you if you did read this.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Boys, I have something to say Ok, you came in my post.
This isn't a spoiler or anything, I just wanted to wish y'all a good day/night.
Thank you for your kindness
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Something just hit me... For around 60% of my entire life, I've been staring at a specific object with a bunch of small lights changing colors (aka a computer monitor), from when i get home from school, until I go to sleep, almost every single day.
Nothing that I'm doing on my computer is real, it's all just me controlling numbers to make it look like I'm doing something.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Iโm so overwhelmed I feel like I can do anything right anymore and my parent expect things that I canโt deliver. Iโve had no motivation to do anything and nothing makes me happy anymore. I though about suicide a lot lately and it scares me. I donโt want to die but I see no end to things and nothing I do is helping. I have no where to go and nowhere else to turn. I want to end feeling like this but I donโt know how. I donโt intend this be, but if these are my last remarks I want everyone that cares about me to know that I am grateful for you and I am glad I had a chance to know you.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I want to be much more open about lgbt Whats โcisgenderโ or โcis maleโ, whats the difference between pansexual and bisexual, why do some people think there are more them 2 genders, like โnon binaryโ or โgenderqueerโ im really confused and dont wanna offend anyone in the future.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
For anyone who has felt lost or just want a different outlook on how to live life, I highly recommend โevery time I find the meaning of life, they change itโ by Daniel Klein. For a couple months Ive been feeling incredible lost and sometimes depressed and one day I came across this book, I picked it up without thinking about it but after reading the first section I absolutely fell in love with it and read all 200 pages in 3 days. Klein is able to take these small anecdotes from various philosophers and for 5-10 pages, make a party of of dissecting ideas and quotes and making your chest hurt from laughing along the way. I was always scared to jump into philosophical ideas and authors like ethics, Nietzsche and epistemology but Klein makes them understandable and easy to grasp through his funny, charming and insightful writing. I cannot recommend this book enough even thinking about it now makes me smile and embrace whatever life has to offer with a skip in my step.
โYou have power over your mind, not external events, realise this and find true strengthโ
-Marcus Aurelius, stoic.
Just a quick P.S Iโm not saying that this is a cure all for sadness or depression, I still have depressive thoughts but this book really helped to just think on my life choices and what I can do to appreciate what is rather than dwell on what isnโt.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Why do you vape? Do you wish you never had started? Isn't it expensive too, like I'd rather buy new clothes and jewelry than spend it on nic. Genuine question not trying to come for anyone
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
My reasons to end it.Male, just turned 23. Still living with my parents due to medical issues.
1. I can't even shit on my own. I have to use enemas and sometimes it can take well over an hour for me to go to the bathroom. I've been doing daily enemas for 4 YEARS.
2. I have a foley catheter put in now (as of today) since I stopped being able to pee on my own for some reason.
3. I'm extremely depressed and horribly anxious (can't even hold a conversation with most people) and have been since I was 14.
4. I have fibromyalgia and am in pain daily which makes me seek out painkillers just to feel like a normal person.
5. I've struggled with drug addiction and am falling back into it again, particularly benzos.
6. I have crippling PTSD that I just can't get past to move on in life.
7. My personality lately sucks due to all the frustrations and medical issues and I really don't think the world would miss me much. CERTAINLY not the current me. I live with my family but don't really "live" with them. I just stay in my room half the time.
8. I also struggle with a ton of anhedonia, so even when things in life should seem better, my brain still isn't convinced that that's the case.
Ugh. I want to stop existing. I didn't ask for this. Nobody did. And yet it happened. This world is cruel.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
My school is led by idiots. Today during our school Zoom meetings, the teachers were telling us about back to school since if you are going to school, it starts Monday, and she was saying that kids will be having mask breaks where teachers encourage the kids to take off all masks for 30 minutes a day. Iโm just having to sit and listen to the stupidity of the school. This break is apart from lunch obviously.
Edit: Yes, this is in small inside classrooms.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
highkey hate bein from the south lowkey enjoy it i mean the food down here is just immaculate .... the culture ..... like yah maybe the only things to do down here are go out to eat, celebrate mardi gras, & do drugs but the food is good enough to let that slide !!!!!!
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I NOW HAVE A GIRLFRIEND Yes my friends I did it, it was a shock at the time, hopefully the future is bright ... "Some help, it's my first time in a relationship"
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I've gotten to the point where even I don't even care that my loved ones beg me not to feel this way.I have no patience to see it "get better". Yet I'm too much of a pussy to actually do it.
My friends and family cry at the thought of me dying. But the pain is too much. It sucks to see them hurt. But I always tell them not to blame themselves.
I just feel like....I don't even care anymore! Alright... I'm still in too much pain.
I ruined my life! I don't know what to do. I love my friends and family so much but the pain is destroying me. I don't know what to do. Someone give me the magic button that fixes everything.
Does ANYONE feel this way? I can't actually go through with it right now.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
How can I help my cousin before it's too late?My cousin (24/M) has been having extreme cases of depression for the past 3 years, ever since I left to study abroad. He isolates himself from everyone, he won't even talk to me and we've been really good cousins from our childhood. His sister recently got engaged and he won't meet her fiancรฉ or attend the engagement/wedding.
I'm currently overseas studying but I'll be back home soon, I love him like a brother and want to do anything I can to help. I'm afraid that he might commit self harm or even worse suicide. What can I do?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Does anyone remember those biker group in Elementary school that would come in and try to stop bullying? I remember every month weโd go in the auditorium and watch an assembly about these guys that rode motorcycles and would be like โbullyโs arenโt cool, manโ It was kinda cringy but kinda wholesome at the same time. Also, it fucking worked. No one in my school TO THIS DAY bullyโs other students
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I donโt get people who only reply to those who agree with them Arguing is so much more fun than circlejerking
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Fantasising about being saved.I often daydream about trying to jump off a bridge and having someone grab me from the edge, hold me tight and tell me it will be okay.
We all want what we canโt have, I guess.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Get ready for a cringey post but Idc So I have a crush on this girl (my first crush) and itโs driving me up the fucking wall as, to be totally honest, I donโt know her at all, sheโs in a couple lessons so Iโve started to know here a little better but I was just gonna ask if Iโm beyond hope and should just start moving on ASAP or if there could be a chance...
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
My mom hates me and so does my sister and I cant keep living this wayMy mom asked me to read something between her and my sister and me being a curios bastard read more and more and find out that my sister thinks I walk all over my mother which I dont I pay for all our meals and most of the bills (Im 17 btw) my mom thinks im ungrateful and im the reason my dad died my sister said when I tried to commit suicide last time she wished that i did die and "who cares what the little bastard wants make him go to a therapist and get drugs itll show him whom is boss." I just dont know what to do I feel unloved and unwanted idk why i even posted this...
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I just want to die.I don't know what to do. I've been depressed since middle school because of my father.
All he cares about is grades. He tells me and everyone else that he wants to die, because of me. Because I am not getting the grades he wants me to get. He says I am a failure, and that if it wasn't for me, my mother would of still been alive. She died in 2006 due to breast cancer. He says that as long as I am alive, he feels like dying everyday. He says I am a disgrace to his family, and that everyone had straight A's. But me.. Apparently B and C's are bad. Apparently I can't get into any schools with that grade. I got into my preferred high school with those "bad grades" of mine. I know what I want to do when I am older, but I just can't go through with it. Why? Because every single day, I have to hear at least someone comment that I am going to fail in life and end up on the street.
All they care about is my grades. They don't care about me, what I do or what I want to do.
Why should I care about others? I don't even care about myself anymore. I don't even know what to do. Dying is pretty much the only option I have left, as I have nobody to go to.
If what it takes for him to be happy and take care of my siblings is that I die, then fine. I'll die. Not for him, but for myself. I'd rather die now, then slowly die by bearing around all this bad stuff getting thrown at me.
I spend most of my time on reddit and an online community I am a part of, to get myself away from my real life. These are the two places I feel accepted, where I can express myself. Well, reddit is where I go to whenever I am not in the mood. While the other community, I meet people who actually bothers talking to me.
While I am writing this, I can hear my dad in the background telling my uncle that I am idiot, etc. You name it. All kind of insults.
I've been going through this since I was 11. This started hurting me when I was 13. I am 16 now. I don't know what to do. I just want to end it all together, and just get out of their lives. I can't take this anymore, and I want to die.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
What the fuck did I just drink??? I was at a private party - 7 people. I knew everyone there. We bought some beers, bottle of wiskey, brandy and some energy drinks. Later in the night we ran out of drinks and my friend's gf suggested she can bring out a bit of homemade stuff that her mom makes from her basement. We agreed and she brought something that she claimed had ~60โฐ alchohol. It was like drinking fire but realy easy to down, nice flavour and I didn't even need to drink something like cola to down it more easily. Got me fucked up in few mins. Realy strong, clean alchohol high. Me and my gf were the only ones who drank it (she did 1 shot and I did 3). Next day I had visual, audio and sensory halucionations - on the bottomn corners of my FOV I saw realy detailed smoke every time I exhaled and when I closed my eyes I could hear my gf breathing in my face and even saying something, just like in that moment when we drank this stuff. I thought it was just me and didn't tell anyone but later I saw on my gf's insta story that she had absolutely same things going on - smoke everywhere and she kept feeling my breath on her face. I am realy weirded out. Has anyone heared of a halucionations from alchohol? We both were on alchohol, nicotine, caffeine and sleep deprived for 30+ h when this happened but real weird that we had the same effects. Even today I can barely see a small haze on my FOV when I look for it. What the fuck?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
im eating a hammich(ham sandwhich) want some
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Family saved me and they donโt know itI apologize if my writing โstyleโ is choppy, I have disassociation-derealization and it messes me up a lot on terms of lengthy paragraphs
Posted a few times in the past but was more in the moment. Recently moved to new schools which meant new curriculum, failing classes, practically no friends (not that I had many before in the first place), and falling behind. Thought I would do better at a new school because I was being bullied at my previous. Didnโt get bullied at the new school, but have been going through a rough patch for the past few weeks because of my grades. This is the most classes Iโm failing at a time. Anyways, I have never actually attempted until I moved schools because of stress. This was my third attempt (first about two weeks ago, second yesterday) and Iโm so glad I chose not to do it.
I prepared everything; I made a video of good, funny memories for my family to watch when Iโm gone, I wrote letters, I put everything in order. I was sitting in my bathtub with a running hair dryer in one hand contemplating when I should do it because someone was supposed to come soon. I was at the verge of submerging it when I suddenly received a facetime call from my younger sister. I ran out of the bathtub with two towels wrapped around me and I told them I had just taken a bath. My younger sister, older sister, and mother were there. Mom knew why I had moved schools because I felt that it was too (blank) and she talked with me for a few minutes over the call, they all did. Asked me about homework and if they were taking up my time. They didnโt know that I was going to kill myself at the moment but they said their โI love yousโ like usual. After the call I began bawling my eyes out and I just figured I really canโt leave my family. Iโm not gonna die because Iโll feel like Iโll hurt my family too much at such a good time in their lives. They recently purchased a nice house after living in poverty for years and life has been perfect for them. The next few months I have birthdays (sister and dad) and I donโt want them to feel depressed. This Saturday Iโm gonna talk to my doctor to be prescribed to antidepressants and whatever and my mom has offered if I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist in the past about other problems which might help.
On the bright side as well I donated money to organizations (that one with Humans of New York) because I never had the chance and my failing grade in the hardest class I have ever taken (Dramatic? I donโt think so) bumped up. Itโs chemistry. On the down side though my hair is fucked because I impulsively cut my hair into bangs so thereโs that, but I guess itโll grow back over time.
TDLR; Mom told me she loved me (like she always does), asked how school was going, and if I needed anything I can just let her know. It really changed my decision and Iโm not gonna try to commit suicide anymore. I knew they would obviously be sad but they would be devastated if they found out. Moral of story: sometimes it doesnโt hurt to talk to someone. Reach out when you can.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Please help me, I feel like after being strong for so long I can't take it anymore...I hope someone can over my some advice, because right now I feel like the world is caving in on me.
I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I shouldn't even be here, complaining, because I see so many people in this subreddit who have it worse than me...but I really need someone to just *listen*. No one listens anymore. They just talk...always talking.
I have a lovely fiancee who I moved from Australia for, and so currently I am waiting to finalize my immigration. During this time I am unable to work, or study. Even volunteer work is banned. So right now I am a waste of space, so to speak.
I have no income of my own, so I spend my days on a computer dicking around, waiting until the time passes. I've signed up to the gym and I go every moment available when my fiance can drop me off (it's too far to walk), but other than that I spend my day around the house.
I have no friends. What friends I did have in Australia I no longer speak to, due to the huge timezones and them going their separate ways in life. My fiance's friends I don't know well enough. I have tried very hard to get to know them, but one of them is anti-social and angry all the time, one has just gone through a breakup and feels like the world is ending, and the others live too far away.
There is no one in town I can get to know. I live in a retirement community, and there is nothing to do here. There's a gas station, a Tim Horton's, and a few stores. Voila.
I feel like my life right now, is shit. A lot of people told me that I was very stupid for travelling at such a young age, and I haven't regretted moving to Canada to be with my fiance one bit. I love him to death - and I know, it sounds cliche, given my age - but I really am happy that I am with him.
Except that every day until he comes home I feel like my life is a waste of space. I am so very bored, and so very frustrated. In Australia I was an honour roll student, a high achiever. I live for learning and bettering myself.
I've tried very hard to put my spare time to use. I tried to learn programming, another language, art, etc. But right now I just feel so unmotivated, and the thought that I might be wasting away here for another year or so bothers me to no end.
I have no family, aside from my fiance. My mother was a schizophrenic paranoid, abusive both mentally and physically. She's left me with a lot of scars (again, both mental and physical) and she haunts my dreams every night. Even though I'm in another country I still jump every so often when I acidentally spill something or swear when I stub my toe, scared she's behind me ready to beat me again...or worse. That combined with other fanciful events of my childhood keeps me from sleeping well at night period.
I know I need to see a counsellor about this...I know I need someone to talk to. But right now I have no healthcare, and I don't have the money to pay for any of this.
I never let things bother me, ever. I always, always try and look on the bright side, but everything is just hitting hard so lately. I have to get my wisdom teeth out - they're both infected badly - and my fiance is going to have to use up his savings to pay for it. I don't know if that bothers him or not. He doesn't know how to communicate, or listen. It's not his fault - he is a good man, just had a rough time with both friendships and relationships, but he's trying to change desperately for me.
He's also extremely stressed out at the moment - he works every day and also goes to college for eight hours of the day, so by the time he comes home he just wants to relax, and he can't even do that due to school work. I don't want to bother him with my problems. =/
I need help, Reddit. I've tried to stay positive my entire life - there's a lot more to my backstory, but that summarizes most of the stuff that bothers me at the moment. I just feel so lonely, so bored, so upset. Everything is sort of hitting me at once...and I feel so stupid for even complaining about this.
TL;DR I can't work, study or do anything while living in another country till the government says so. I feel like a waste of space and for the first time in my life everything bad that has happened is getting to me.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
i had the most vivid, realistic dream iโve ever had it was me and my family and jimmy kimmel surviving a zombie apocalypse together. the zombies in my dream were the same ones as in the book word war z ( good book btw). it was really scary i almost died
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
dont know what to doive lost a lot of people that I really cared about recently. I think I'm about to lose a few more. I dont know what I'm doing wrong and it's making me question everything. I had some of these friends for 2+ years and theyve just left. a year or two ago I was going to kill myself, had a plan, a date, had done everything I needed to do and tried a few times to make sure it would work. to the point where I accidentally almost committed once because I nearly passed out. a day before I was meant to do it, I got told on more or less. stupid but it felt like "a sign". so I didnt.
over the next year I met a bunch of amazing people (online, I prefer online friendships because I'm super insecure and have a lot of issues) had a relationship with one of them (which was a horrible idea but ya live and learn, it had to stop but I have no hard feelings, I love them), others became my very best friends. so things kind of actually felt okay for a while. of course I was still not doing great, since when my plans got caught, I didnt get any help, but the friends really helped without me even needing to tell them about my issues. things felt ok.
flash forward, I have 2 of those friends left. and I'm losing both of them. one of them I talk to maybe once every 2 weeks, if I'm lucky. the other is losing interest in me. I know that things happen and I'm not mad at any of them for it but I just dont know what to do. I feel like I'm right back in the same place I was. for the past few months I've been sort of passively suicidal I guess. had a plan but had no plans to actually do it, which is about normal for me. the past few days I've started thinking about doing it again, actually having it be an option I think I might take again. I didnt miss this feeling. and I don't know how to stop it without help but I dont want help because I hate talking and I dont want anyone else to know. I feel lost. again.
I don't even want to read this again because it's probably whiney cringe so I'm like so sorry if you got this far and its just a word vomit
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
There's not just one person inside of me.It's hard to get around the idea that you want to kill yourself. At some point you either do it or choose not to do it, and I really don't think there's any essential difference between someone that does or doesn't. I think that at some point it just comes down to choosing that the person who is speaking right now, the person that questions or doesn't either gets categorized in your brain as "just my dangerous thoughts" or "who I am, full stop"
I guess the question is, sometimes; "is there a person inside still left that is willing to even ask the question are these thoughts valid enough to act on" ? It's that awful, fucking bastard hope that seems so resilient so long in our lives until it gets dismantled and dismantled. Is hope something that still lives even in a small way? I think a lot of people would say if there's even a discussion about IF suicide is going to happen that it's still even the faintest of sparks.
But if someone searches themselves and in the total and complete absence of any identity besides the one that hates themselves or their life then coming back from that is extremely difficult. Interestingly I've found in my own life a pattern, and maybe it's saved me to have noticed it. I know when I'm going to break apart, I know the difference between who I am and who the "bad guy" is.
I've made myself into two identities by recognizing that pattern of falling into depression and suicidal idealization and the long and treacherous road back out. I've only gotten there though because I've had repeatedly fortunate encounters with people who aren't currently suicidal or that have made me question it. So the difference for me personally is that I repeatedly chose to question if I wanted to kill myself really right there and then, or if there was even the smallest thing I wanted to see. I wanted to see the grand canyon, I wanted to see Paris, etc...and I always figured at any point after I could kill myself so that was my way of fixing it.
Life isn't easier for me, and I would never dare to say "it's all well and good for me and for everyone else". Everyone has vastly different levels of pain and fortune which direct their lives. I just think if you really just at least once every time you're ready ask yourself "is this really who I am, who I was" ? I think it's at least possible there's help to be had.
I'm sorry if this was triggering to anyone, I just started this in response to another post and not wanting to direct it as any one person I realized this was really just a post for everyone who might be like me. Maybe I'm crazy, stupid or lazy. I just know that I care.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Parents refuse to accept me as transgender.I'm non binary, I use they/them pronouns and I've been out openly for around 2 years to my family. When I first came out my sister and father were supportive, more so my father. Through all of this he was there for me and supported me and stuck up for me when my mother and brother would misgender me. But a few weeks ago he suddenly started to change. He approached me and began to ask me for proof of my gender, and told me if I couldn't prove that there were more than two genders then he would stop trying to use they/them pronouns for me and gender neutral terms.
I have tried very very hard to explain that I can't prove it, gender is an internal concept it can't be measured. I've tried extremely hard to debate with him maturely but nothing is working. I showed him sources and advice from the APA (american psychological association), studies and opinions from psychologists about the correlation between suicide attempts and misgendering in trans people. But still, he won't change,
He's a stubborn man and a lawyer. He relies on facts and if I can't prove this then it doesn't exist.
He told me that those who push non binary genders are stunting true equality because we aren't accepting that we are male or female. That we can't accept that male and female actually encompass every single trait and there is no need for non binary labels. It hurts so much to hear that because its not true. Why would anyone choose this? Why would they? I tried living as a woman I tried for 18 years and it didn't work. I don't fit as a woman. I don't fit as a man. I am neither. I can't explain it. This isn't about not accepting these things or trying to be special.
But to have someone I trusted so much and told so many things, someone that defended me for so long, to have them turn around and say these things. It hurts beyond belief. It makes me feel unsafe, like I can't even leave my room.
I don't have any friends in real life. I have 2 online that I talk to at least once a week, but most of the time all of my social interaction comes from my family. I am also autistic and struggle with socialising which makes socialising even harder.
I hate being like this. I never asked to be this way, I never wanted to be such a bother and have to go through with this. If I could turn it off I would, but I can't. I hate being so broken.
I want to kill myself really badly but I have failed 3 times in the past, the most recent attempt caused great damage to my heart and I am so scared of failing again and being even more disabled and incapable of looking after myself (im sorry thats so horrible to think im sorry),
I don't know why I wrote this. I just want to go back in time and kill myself when I was younger.
I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of being so miserable and waking up every morning in this body and in this world.
Sorry this is so long. If you disagree please don't comment, I can't take it.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
So...j.. j.. just.. uh.. long .. rant... Uh.. j.. judge me.. I.. I guess..So.. I need to say something... Just.. don't know. How to..
Uh...
I'm probably going to spend hours writing this... Only to delete it... Only to waste my time.. when I could be productive.. uh..
There's tons of parts... All part of one story.. all jumbled up and messy... S..s.. sorry
Anyways. ..
There's this girl... And she's.. something else... She treats me in a way I've never been treated.. she cares for me and... It's wonderful... But...
I can't make her happy. No matter what I do, I fall at providing her comfort in the way she provides me with comfort..
And usually I can talk to her...
Anyways... Next part...
Uh... This is.. the.. hardest.. part. For me..
My.. uh.. death happens.... Right..? And.. uh.. my grandma.. raised me .. and now.. ..
Michael Michael she's in the hospital... ... She has to be , ... Just haven't gone to see her.. uh...
I'm in denial... Still.. uh.. IDK.. just.. hope you know what I'm saying about this part.. yeah.. that.. she.. uh..
Happened a little over a year ago...... June 7..... Cry...
Anyways.. Next part..
Because that happened.. my grandpa moved... I'm literally completely alone.... I have nobody now.
I tried/r4r to make friends.. etc... But honestly.. just no motivation to respond to them... So when I do respond it's lackluster and they don't respond.
The girl from earlier.. met her on r4r so that's good.. Just hope she doesn't see this..
Anyways.. next part...
My fiancee... Of 4 years... Uh... This part of huge..... Way huge... So much drama so much craziness so much nonsensical bullshit....
If I didn't follow exactly what she wanted, she'd get extremely mad. I purchased a motorcycle, and she wouldn't even give me $10 for gas so I can drive my van to work the following day after a crash. She forced me into my motorcycle, inexperienced, with the potential of my front wheel popping. Thanks for caring.
Anyways... More about her...
She left be completely abandoned and alone the day of her funeral.... I went to the funeral... Completely alone....
And the night before? I drank... Recovering alcoholic here...
Friends are supposed to be there through the hard times, right? Where was she?
Just... I don't want to keep going on.. just trust me.. she's.. for lack of a better term, a royal bitch. (everybody tells me so - I love her... So I'm blinded....) It's so painful to talk about her...
Past 2-3 years... We've barely even hung out... She says she loves me, but won't take any time to see me or hang out or check up on me or anything... Like that's not what a person does to another they care about... Right? Or am I just crazy...
IDK...
Been a whole year since my grandma... And she never hugged me yet.... Wtf....
She also abandoned me a couple weeks ago.... Absolutely abandoned me... Won't even talk to me anymore...
She promised she'd never leave...
Everybody is full of lies......
Anyways.... Next part...
Abandonment... Yes I have abandonment issues... Been in therapy for years.... Each therapist said they'll always be there for me... Always. All I need to do is call...
So I call.... Phone disconnected.......
Another therapist... I called.... They tell me it's off hours and to talk to them in the next meeting... (I understand why.. but still hurtful) since I only ever call out for help when I absolutely need it.... Like now ..
Therapists all says I'm doing good... Way better than before... So they end the therapy session... Without even talking to me about what I may need.... I need therapy cause I know I'm messed up... But y'know what can I do... They say I'm good...
Anyways... Next part...
My whole life since I was 4 has been nothing but hell.... There's some moments of... Not hell, but it's still pretty bad.
...
Anyways.. next part...
When I was 4, my step father... He was mad at my mom... And y'know what happened when the guy is mad? He throws things... Far across the room... Against the wall... Guess what... Or should I say who was the thing he threw? Me. 4 years old me.
He did all the abuse you can possibly imagine. I don't have to go into specifics, use your imagination. And he's done it... And I have the scars to prove it.
Anyways... Next part...
Because of him... I stutter extremely badly... Finally got over my stutter a year ago..... But because of how badly I stutter.. I never went out of my way to talk to people. I just sat in the corner of the room, all quiet, all day, and then went to day care and just drew. Barely made a peep as a child.
Take that into Junior high and high school... And college... Still hard to talk to people.
Like what do I even say? I have no idea..... I don't know how people communicate to others...
Anyways... Next part...
My ex won't stop pretending to be another person bugging me to talk to her... He doesn't understand how much pain I'm in thinking of her and HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! (He as in she, pretending to be him)
Anyways.. next part...
My ex and I were finally going to move in together... Make the extra step... And work on the relationship finally.... She left...
Anyways.. next part...
My first girlfriend.... Oh.. her..
We dated. For years. Until she broke up with me because I was abusive...
Anyways.. next part...
I knew with my past of abuse... I would most likely be an abuser... Unless I get better...
All my therapists said I was.... Then my first broke up with me. That was difficult, but dealable.
I understood... I was abusive...
Anyways.. next part... My fiance entered my life... Makes me legitimately believe I was better.. makes me believe we are good... Etc.. And see just... Leaves... After my grandma....
AND I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED DEATH SO IDK WHAT TO EVEN DO!!! How do I go on...
Anyways.. next part...
Literally life long hardship... Everybody says in time it'll get better... But it's gotten worse. Way.. way.. worse....
And now...
Only reason why I kept going before... Was cause I had somebody... Didn't want to upset them.... My sister.. my mom (whom I always hated) etc...
But now... Even my family has abandoned me... And the only person I have is my grandpa.... But he's old... So once he's gone... So am I. Literally only thing keeping me going right now... And I just... It's not enough... It's really not...
I almost died today.... Was so close to dying... I .. I almost had it.... IDK why I moved my steering wheel so I couldn't crash head on into the wall. (riding motorcycle, 100+ mph) I just instinctively moved the steering.... Why...
Honestly... Only thing keeping me here right this second is... To circle to the beginning... Her... Because she's already suffered a suicide... I can't do that to her...
... Hopefully she doesn't see this post but...
I know I can put some distance between us... Make it so she can hate me too... And then I'll literally have nothing left....
Anyways... Next part...
Some 37 year old dude is still suicidal. Life does **not** get better. He brought one thing up when I asked how he kept going... And he said it's because he didn't want to hurt those around him.
But... I don't have anybody around me... Not anymore...
I have my grandpa... Who is almost 80 and will die soon... And her... Who. We're close but.. I'm sure I can make her hate me so...
Anyways.. next part...
I can count on one hand how many times I've legitimately felt some sort of happiness, some sort of relief. Actually.. I can only count one (two if you want to argue about it)... And that's mountain biking... Being lost in nature.. on m mountain bike.. roaming through nature... All alone and peaceful.
That has been the only time in my life I've found some sense of peace....
MAnyways.. next part...
I'm in California... There's no reason to stay here... I finally got a job after doing Uber and Lyft fit the past few years... Really want to be relocated to.. literally anywhere but California... But I'm still on probation.. so I can't bring it up to my boss yet...
But... I don't want to be here.
And I CAME BACK TO CALIFORNIA SO I CAN BE WITH MY FIANCE!!!!!!! otherwise I would've moved with my grandpa.... Yeah.. I'm a loser...
Just...
It's expensive here.. and I don't have a good paying job... And I don't have anybody... So I have to find a place to stay by next month... And they have to be willing to let me stay cheap... I'm currently living with a "friend"
But he's not a friend. Only reason I talk to him is so I can continue living at his place for now... But his brother is coming next month and I have to leave. (too crowded)
Anyways... Next part..
Literally nothing left.. literally no reason to continued going.. literally... This is the hardest I've ever had to fight my thoughts... And... There's a torch... I can torch my head killing my brain... Painful but.. whatever right?
There's my motorcycle... I can go 100+ mph no gear and crash....
There's the alcohol... 99% alcohol.. drink it...
There's my BB gun... I'm sure I can point it at my heart and...
There's just.. so many actual ways to go out that I have access to right now...
And is just... IDK...
Anyways... Next part...
I bought the motorcycle because CycleCruza said to... Get a motorcycle... Feels good man...
Nope.. not a single sense of relief or joy, even putting my motorcycle to Max Lane splitting in traffic... Yeah... Did that today. I really do have a death wish... Just don't want to be known as the guy who killed himself... Much rather be known as that idiot who bought a murdercycle. I mean nobody's going to figure out I committed suicide by intentionally dropping my bike.... Right? Who will they ask? Reddit?
I knew my fiance would abandon me again... So I rushed and bought the motorcycle.... And it just... Doesn't bring a sense of relief.... I'm not even scared. It doesn't even phase me.... Except earlier today when I almost hit head on to the wall.... Instincts kicked in and I swerved....
I just...
Anyways... Next part...
Fiance called the cops, reported me and all... Now I'm going to jail and losing my job... So everything I can say I have to fight for... Gone.
Literally nothing to fight for except... Her from the beginning of this post...
Anyways... Next part...
I've tried everything... Everything people recommend... Go out into the world.. make friends... Go to therapy... Focus on hobbies... Etc...
Hard to find a hobby when nothing really brings much joy.
Take amusement parks... I've been to six flags, Knott's, Disney, but mostly six flags cause that's where all the big rides are. Like X2.
Riding any rollercoaster... Nada. I feel no sense of anything , except I'm sitting in a really uncomfortable chair about there's a bunch of wind blowing in my face, making it hard to breathe and fuck this I don't want to be here anymore.
Only rollercoaster I absolutely love is like.. are like those trains where you sit in a chair... Move very slowly so the air isn't suffocating you.. And you can sit and relax and see everything that's around you...
I don't know. I'm a huge thrill seeker... But not much thrills me.
Anyways... Next part...
Basically... Life long dealing with this... I just..
I don't know. What to do..
So I'm just posting this here cause... Fuck it... IDK...
Just needed to rant... Don't want to rant over and over to multiple people all asking in private messages...
And.. maybe somebody to "tell me it's okay... "
If anybody gets this reference.... Please talk to me... I need somebody to talk about the band.. talking about the band gets me excited... And is a huge distraction... But... I can't listen to their songs... Cause half of the songs remind me of my ex...
FUCK!!!!!!! SHE RUINED MY FAVORITE BAND FOR ME!!!!!! I can't even enjoy the band like I used to.... I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!?
I used to be able to listen to the band when shit hits the fan... This time.. I can't. Cause it just makes me more suicidal!!!!
I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!!!!!
... Sorry.. for.. yelling.. I.. just.. Cantt..v deal..b
I'm probably better off dead.... I won't hurt other people.. I won't destroy everything I rich... It's the only thing I'm good at anyways - doing nothing... So might as well do nothing dead, right?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
EshHesh it's me thiccums from Skirbbl.io On November 11, at about 10:30 - 11:00 pm PST, I was on [Skribbl.io](https://Skribbl.io) playing a match as I usually do, EshHesh and I were competing pretty evenly and I thought "Hey this guy seems pretty cool, I think I'll give them my discord" so after asking them if they had discord I went to go see what the number thing was for my discord was. Right as I got back for some reason my browser refreshed and kicked me from the game before I was able to give them my discord. EshHesh if you are out there hit me up bro.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Not gonna lie, lesbians are pretty gay /s please dont hate on my for my own opinions on the subject at hand.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Finally crossed over from โI donโt think I can do itโ to โIโm ready to do itโSuicidal hanging that will result in decapitation. Iโve been doing a lot of research on this method because it seems to be a mostly painless, and very quick death.
Thereโs a lovely lake in my neighborhood with a lot of pedestrian bridges. People have hung themselves from the bridges, and somehow the city still has not put any suicide prevention bars up yet.
Iโd only need to fall 6 feet for this to work, but the fall will be probably around 15 ft. I donโt want there to be any chance of this not working. I know women tend to not try as hard to kill themselves and end up surviving more often then men but god damn it, my head will be in the bottom of the lake and it will finally be over. Fuck the world.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Just got a free wholesome award to give out U already know what that means ๐
Filerrrrrrr
___________________
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Do most star wars fans ignore the sequels when watching the older movies? do they count them as non canon?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Australia = AuschwitzThis country is a prison colony and it appears to be testing grounds to removing the flaws and imperfections in the human race and turning men into women...It's what hitler devised that he wanted to remove the flaws and imperfections and wanted to purify the human race. We are all slaves to a fascist regime that treats people as a number but we like to pretend that we live in a democracy to give us the illusion of freedom when there is no freedom. We are the slave and the property of the few that want us to be controlled.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I need help Iโve never been in a relationship before Iโm my 16 years of living and I have no clue what Iโm doing cause Iโm in one rn and need help cause Iโm lost
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Today I shat in my girlfriendโs pants Top Text Bottom Text Right Text Left Text
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
You donโt sound black... I get told that a lot because of the way I talk. Iโm black and I donโt use slang often when talking to new people(you donโt know who u will meet good or bad) so I always talk with my words pronounced. Sometimes black, white, Hispanic, who ever tell me, your dark but you donโt sound black...how should black people sound๐(the media fucked me up)
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I deeply wishI deeply wish I was dead. Existing is the worst and I highly wish I didn't exist. Someone save me from myself
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Even on a normal good day I still think about doing it every day.I don't know if I even feel "bad" anymore, I have up days and down days but every day is invariably the same, I'll consider just ending my life. It doesn't feel like an easy way out, I have no idea how I'd do it, everything I consider seems just as bad as bothering to continue.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Good things are happening, so why the hell do I want to kill myself?I just got a puppy, something Iโve been dreaming of since...forever. I love him so much, even when he drives me insane. I also finally moved out on my own and love where I live
But I have nearly constant suicidal ideation, and itโs been getting more active. Iโll go from making a grocery list, to wishing I was dead, to planning in 5 minutes. The thoughts go away but they just keep coming back. At work all I could think about was how pointless all this shit is, how much better it would be if I wasnโt going through all this, how I just want to stop everything.
I donโt know
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Need someone to talk toHello, I feel really bad and I need someone to talk to, my past has really hurt me and I have not spoken to anyone about it and it really is killing me quite literally.
My thoughts and my anxiety are not helping me.
Everyday for the past couple of months I have suicide on my mind.
I want to live but Im afraid I will hurt my self or worse.
Please I need help :(
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Am I toxic?I have this one friend named Cat she's 30 I'm 22. We met through mutual friends. She always has drama at work and never likes her boss. She changes jobs every year. She sometimes gets in arguments with her roommates where she ends up crying because they aren't as clean by her standards. Sometimes I make plans with her to go hiking on the weekend.
Weโll make plans for one then she won't text me the day of until five saying โsorry I slept inโ she's done it about three times to me. She just doesn't set the alarm because โshe knows sheโll wake up.โ I always seem to be doing only what she wants to do. We went to a restaurant I loved, and she said we could never go back because they took the pasta she likes off the menu.
She makes comments about the way I look and my personality. I told her I was harassed and bullied so severely in high school. She has made comments about how my hair looks fake and overprocessed. I go to school and sometimes work as a freelancer. She's made comments to me sometimes when we hang out like โSOME OF US have work in the morningโ
She says I ask too many questions because usually when I see my friends, I want to know what's going on in their lives. She doesn't ask many about me. I've gotten upset about her questions comments, but a mutual friend who I used to date says โshe probably thinks you ask too many questions or talk too much because she never stops talking about herself.โ she's made comments like โyou either say nothing or express too much Love you though.โ
I sometimes binge drink when I'm stressed. I don't drink everyday or most weekends. I've been trying to cut drinking out of my life because I don't want to become a problem drinker. I see a therapist two times a week and always talk to my family about it.She's made comments about my drinking like โoh my God your out of control and thank God your not drinking this weekend.โ she also tries to baby me in front of people and take away my drink even if I'm having one beer. She smokes weed every single day.
When I ask her to do stuff, I love like going to the movies, she always says no and makes passive aggressive comments about how I should stop asking her about it. I've gone to six different concerts she likes even though I've never listened to those bands to be supportive. In the last couple of months, I've become silent and walked out when she's made passive aggressive comments because I don't want to go off and say mean things to a friend, so I storm off and go home.
She recently made a group chat sharing an old of my friends and me. I'm blackout drunk in the photo, and it's very embarrassing. I texted her to not post shit like that. She said she didn't think anything of it before she posted because it was a nice picture. I just said whatever. I hadn't talked to her in a couple of weeks, and she texts me about how our relationship didn't stay healthy, and she doesn't want to stay friends anymore.
Am I the asshole?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I think I have a problem I don't know if this is a bad thing, but, I have a tendency to downplay and unhype everything I do, and I can't take any form of compliment, I just ignore them. I literately managed to downplay the fact I was graduating, and in the moment I guess I felt good and happy, but afterwards I felt nothing. People will come up to me and say that I'm good at guitar and music, or call me cool and stuff, my friends do that say that to me too, and just sit there and be like, why? I can't take a compliment no matter how nice it is. Compliments sometimes make me feel almost bad. I could literately play in front of a large crowd, and afterwards I would be like, ok. Is this bad??
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Iโm bored and idk what to do So ask me anything idc what the question is just ask ya dumb dumb
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I feel like super suicidal, whatโs really makes me still alive is, Iโm looking for a way to make it looks like an accident.I wanna do it quietly, and fast.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
i work for the CIA Cock
Inspection
Agency
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I've wanted to kill myself since I was 15, and each year, the urge just gets stronger and stronger.The first time I thought about suicide I was 15. I mean, the first time I legitimately started to plan it out. I sat on the open windowsill of my bedroom with a knife in hand staring at my veins.
With depression itโs easy to seem like you always feel sorry for yourself. I think itโs the opposite. I think, youโre really trying to get someone to feel sorry for you and comfort you so you can stop being so vile to yourself. Because of depression, and a shitty self-esteem, I donโt think Iโm good enough to be anything. I wince at the thought of trying to go to school again because staying focused and motivated is such a task in itself. I dislike the way I look, like most people, but it weighs on me so heavy that I assume no one will ever like me. I often worry Iโll be alone forever. I couldnโt understand how anyone would be interested in me. Why? Iโm annoying and not very intelligent right? And when someone does seem interested, I self-sabotage. I get anxious and nervous and start to find reasons why itโll be over soon. Then thereโs the self-blame. Everything is my fault. If a relationship doesnโt work out, itโs because something was detrimentally wrong with me. If I fail at a task, itโs because Iโm not good enough to perform adequately.
There are many variations of depression. Some can weigh in on every aspect of your life and make it hard to live at all. Some are connected to a form of self-hatred that might be nurture-able through psychotherapy. Mine seems to be attached to love.
Children are fragile. As a child, my earliest memories started to form around the same time that unintentional rejection started to plague me. I spent time in foster care, my parents constantly traded me off to each other. In high school I was kicked out of both of my parentโs separate homes three times each. My self worth was diminished. I started to look for love in other places. Friends and family of friends, but deep inside I still felt like a burden.
In college I realized my father and I would probably never get a long. I started to grapple with my sexuality. I would hear my fatherโs homophobic remarks in my head and wince at the idea. I would feel a reminder of his hard hand hitting my face if I dared to vocally disagree.
I would later on in college dial the number to a suicide help line. I remember crying and being unable to explain what was wrong. I was in love with my roommate and I didnโt know how to articulate that. I was angry at myself for being subpar. I didnโt want to disappoint my parents. I didnโt want to fail at my life. I wanted a family and a career and it felt so unobtainable.
It would take me another four years before I would finally walk into the doctorโs office and tell him I needed help. Telling someone youโve thought heavily about suicide is hard to do. You feel stupid. You feel like he might just think you want attention. You feel like maybe youโre just overreacting and you arenโt very good at being human. I asked for therapy, which at the time seemed to be focused on a relationship that went sour.
She explained that relationships end and thatโs ok. I didnโt know how to explain that it wasnโt necessarily the relationship that had drove me to the edge, but instead this unbeatable feeling that something was terribly wrong with me and no one would ever love me the way I needed to be loved.
A week later, I met a cute boy in a bar. I bought him a drink, walked home and swallowed three different bottles of prescription pills.
Needless to say, I woke up. I was ashamed. I was angry. I hated myself. I felt weak. I felt incapable of being loved. Sure I was loved by many. I had amazing friends and caring people surrounding me, but I was missing this really significant nurturing that I think most people got from their parents. When I felt insecure and alone, I couldnโt call my mom and listen to her tell me how much she cared. I didnโt quite understand why I couldnโt do this, but my mother and I had never had an affectionate relationship. I was 19 when I told my mom I loved her and gave her a hug and it felt strange.
I spent some time in a hospital or three. I met lots of people who had a very rough time getting through life. A man who particularly stood out had been put in the hospital about four times now and felt helpless. He explained how no one believed he could be self dependent but really he was just struggling to connect to people. He paced up and down the halls exclaiming, โWell I guess the town weirdo is back in the loony bin.โ I realized that Mental Illness is a really uncontrollable thing. Or at least thatโs what I thought at the time. How awful it was to see people who could never quite fit in. Was I bound to be this way? Was I bound to forever be depressed and alone because a real relationship was too tricky and heart-wrenching for me? I had no real foundation to understand what a relationship was, why I deserved one and how I should and shouldnโt be loved.
After that, things were hard. I started playing with medications, having severe mood swings, and dappling with intense anxiety. I would have anxiety attacks about close friends leaving me or pretty much every time I developed a crush or attempted a relationship. It took a good while before I realized that despite having a capacity to love, I needed to learn to love myself before trying to convince someone to do so. Why would they love me if I didnโt love me?
The problem is I just can't muster enough reason to care. I don't have the willpower or motivation to move forward. I feel as though I've been depressed and unhappy for so long that I can't really see it getting better. The world isn't black and white but people treat it like it is. Now it's more important to be likable than ever and I just can't handle it anymore. I'd rather just say fuck it.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Don't let others put you down! Be proud of who you are. Just want to send some positive vibes with all the nastiness in the world right now!
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
โน ๐๏ธ๐
ฐ๏ธ๐
ฟ๏ธ ยฉ๏ธ๐
พ๏ธยฉ๏ธยฉ๏ธ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃค
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ ฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ โ โฃถโฃถโฃฟโ ฟโ โฃถ
โ คโฃโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โฃ
โ โ คโฃคโฃคโฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโ โ โฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃถโ
โ โ โ โ คโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃญโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโ ฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โฃโฃถโฃ
โ โ โ โ โฃโฃญ
โ โ โ โฃโ ฟโฃฟโฃถ
โ โฃคโฃฟโ คโฃญโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โฃฟโฃฟโ โฃ
โ โฃโ คโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃคโฃโฃ
โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโ
โ โ โฃญโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโฃฟ
โ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โฃฟโฃฟ
โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโ โ คโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃคโ โฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃถโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโ โฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ ถโฃถโ ฟโ โ โ โฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโ ถโ โ โฃโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃโฃคโฃคโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โฃโฃถโฃคโฃคโ ฟโ ถโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃฟโฃฟ
โ ฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโฃโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโ โ โฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ ค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟ
โ โ โฃ
โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃญโฃโฃโฃค
โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ ฟโฃถโฃ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โฃโฃถ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโ โ โฃฟโ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟ
โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โฃโฃถโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃคโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃคโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃคโฃถโฃถโ ถโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โฃฟโฃคโฃคโฃโฃคโ ฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃคโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃถโฃคโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃถโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃคโฃถโฃโ ฟโ ถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃคโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ คโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃ
โ โ โฃถโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โ โฃโ โฃคโฃค
โ โฃถโฃฟโ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ ฟโฃคโฃ
โฃถโฃฟโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃคโฃถโฃญโฃฟโฃถโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ ฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃญโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ ฟโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โฃคโฃคโฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โฃฟโฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโ โฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟ
โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โฃฟโฃถ
โฃคโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ ฟโ ฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃคโ โ โฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโ โ โ โฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃญโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃฟโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃโ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโ ถ
โฃถโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃคโฃค
โ โ โ ถโฃถโฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃคโฃ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโ โ ถโ ฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ ฟโ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃโ ฟโฃฟโ ถ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โฃญโฃญโ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃญโฃคโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ ฟโฃถโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโ โ โฃถโฃถโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃญโฃถ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃคโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โฃถโ โ โฃโฃคโฃถโฃคโฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃคโฃ
โ คโฃคโฃฟโฃคโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ โ ฟโ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โ โ โฃถโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃคโ โฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃญโฃถโฃ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃโ โฃถโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโ
โ โ โ โฃถโฃฟโฃถ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃถโฃฟโ โฃญโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โฃโฃญโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ
โ โ คโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃค
โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃค
โ โ โฃโฃคโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ ฟโ โ โ ฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โฃโฃฟโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โฃถโ ฟโ ฟโ
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
๐ณ๐ฅถWho want to be my (girl)friend๐ฅถ๐ณ ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐ฅถ๐ฅถ๐ฐ๐ฅต
requirements
gender:**male**๐ฅถ
age:???๐ฅถ๐ณ
must be real ๐๐
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I hate these specific emojis the most. ๐๐ฅฐ๐๐ฉ๐ฅบ๐คช๐ณ
Ik you would answer this post by these.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Suicide is always on my mind. But its hard for me to go through with itPart of me wants to just die and not exist. The other part is afraid of not existing. I'm afraid of going away forever. I don't know if a next life is a safe bet. Would i even be happy in an afterlife?
There's so many thoughts that are always racing through my mind. Im scared of killing myself because of how much it may hurt. I can't think straight with this contradiction. But I do want to be happy. I just dont want to try anymore. Not for anyone and even less for myself
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I'm just so tired and lonely. My self esteem is so low.All I seem to do lately is wish that it was all over. Being so consumed by these thoughts is so discouraging.
And of course there's this tiny part of me that looks for the positive subconsciously. Really it's just suspended disbelief that maybe things will get better. But nothing good has happened to me in a very long time.
I hate getting my hopes up watching life and people pass me by. I don't have much support.
It feels like I'm so far gone that I'll never pull out of this or be able to relate to normal functioning people.
And I can't blame anyone for not wanting to interact with me given the state I'm in. I'm a mess and I'm so lonely, which obviously isn't very attractive.
I've tried to pull out of it. No one is going to save me. No one is going to give me a lifeline to help me save myself.
All I'm left with is this terrible depression. Wishing it was over and just waiting for the next shitty thing to happen..
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
brb guys I'm gonna update reddit real quick just hope there's no ugly new design or weird symbol changes or anything like that ๐ค๐ค๐ค
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
AngryI'm just so, so angry. All the time, anger and frustration are such huge parts in my life. I hate everyone, they drive me closer to suicide. I hate this world, I hate how I feel. I'm so angry that I still am forced to do the basic thingsI can't bear to do. I want to leave.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
How do I join the Minecraft server from switch? Iโm trying to get onto the r/teenagers Minecraft server on switch. Can yโall explain how to do it please.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
im bored tell me something funny and ill laugh :,)
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Just got left for another guy My girlfriend of 1 year and 5 months just broke up with me for a guy shes only liked for โa couple of daysโ. Our relationship was going great and I was supposed to hangout with her today, but i woke up and she just broke up with me. What can I do to cope with this? Iโm going over a friends house but if anyone has any good ideas of things to do it would be helpful, this is my first time experiencing something like this :/
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I'm happy single . ใ
คใ
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คใ
คใ
คใ
คใ
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คใ
คใ
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คใ
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คใ
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คใ
ค ~~Hey, I'm sorry get back in my life, I love you so much, I miss you so bad ๐ฅบ~~
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Your help is needed to save this man! I am assuming there are other posts about the case of a young boy that is still trending in social media. There are extremists trying to get this young man lynched for being vocal about his opinion. A hashtag is trending on twitter which accuses him of blasphemy and all extremists are spamming it to gain attention. I'm asking you all to please help save him using these trends to try to bury the blasphemy trend. #btsarmypakistan #ImranKhanJawabDouย #ImranKhanKhulwaoPUBGย
Please do this to report a hashtag:ย
1. go to [https://help.twitter.com/forms](https://help.twitter.com/forms)
2. choose โharrassmentโ ( link: [https://help.twitter.com/forms/abusiveuser)ย ](https://help.twitter.com/forms/abusiveuser)%C2%A0)
3. choose the options detailed in these screenshotsย
4. add the urls attached
5. add the two paragraphs in โfurther detailsโ 6)add these URLS: [https://twitter.com/mahnoorism\_/status/1288140526462676992?s=21](https://twitter.com/mahnoorism_/status/1288140526462676992?s=21)
7)add this in the further description:
This is in light of a recent hashtag which is fast becoming a top trend on Pakistani Twitter. The hashtag is #BlasphemourMarufZaid It is spreading rapidly in response to a mob of Pakistani users trying to get another Twitter user killed in response for alleged blasphemy. As we know, Twitter has a no-tolerance policy for any type of hate-mongering, and especially for dangerous life-threatening hashtags like this. This is an urgent, emphatic request to take down the hashtag #BlasphemourMarufZaid with immediate effect. A young Pakistani life depends on it.ย
Credit: ( Twitter: u/navsszz)
This can save a life even if people think it won't. Please everyone this is a very scary situation which I wouldn't wish on anyone to go through. I appreciate your help if you do this. Thank you.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Ok so last night I posted that I was going star gazing with my crush and friend i managed to get alone with my crush so I could tell her how I feel and I did and she said that she liked me aswell so we have now started dating WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
i hate this shit lifeI can't fucking take it anymore, I'm tired of being me, I'm tired of being my family's failure. I fucking hate it. I can't fucking picture myself as a responsable adult. I'm obviously not gonna make it past 18. I'm failing school, I'm alone no one cares and I can't do anything about it because I'm a fucking coward and tell anyone about it. and I'm too scared to commit suicide so I'm fucking stuck here. I wanna end it so bad but I'm too scared. I hate it
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Yo what happened to the r/teenagers guy? Did he die?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Did Some Math With a 45 pack of toilet paper, each roll having 235 squares, you can use the restroom 705 times if you use 15 squares each trip to the toilet.
I managed to study this but didnโt manage to study for a test. B- for knowledge of when to get more tp, a soul for a soul
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I hate feeling like this every dayI've tried committing suicide at least a few times a week with the same method that isnt going to seem to work. I can't tell my parents how I'm feeling cause they are both sick and already stressed. I have barely any friends to tell about this. My partner dumped me and im still not fucking over it. I just want to kill myself. I'm 15 and I already know that life isnt that good. I just want to be hugged by soneone I love...
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I'm sadistic Without the istic ๐ ย โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโ
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Change my mind... When you're horny you see the world in a different colour, but when your not you see the true colours akd get post nut syndrome....
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
What's a game everyone grew up with? For me it was the skylanders series, it's a shame to see that toys to life is kinda dead in the water
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
My noteFor the past 2 years Iโve suffered from depression and anxiety.
I told no one.
At first I thought I was just sad and stressed over the classes I took and the seemingly lack of time I had left in college. But I soon realized and that that sadness I felt wouldnโt go away. It slowly grew stronger as time went on and by the time I realized what I actually had, the depression consumed me. I was struggling just to feel a genuine happiness. That didnโt mean I stopped smiling. I smiled all the time, but I wasnโt truly happy.
I slowly thought I was getting better last summer. I spent more time in the sun and going out with my friends and I felt happier almost to a point where I thought I was going to be normal again. But at the same time I was tired and stressed from studying for the MCATs so the fun I had soon turned into guilt. Guilt from not studying hard enough or long enough. So to compensate for the guilt, I drank. A lot. I drank to drown out the emotions. For a while it worked. I would wake up feeling like a new day was ahead of me and I would continue to study.
I started to notice my depression getting worse about 8 months ago. I just laid in bed and I never wanted to go out. I stayed at home and told my friends I was too tired or I didnโt have money at the time so I couldnโt go out. It got to a point where people started to notice so I started to go out every once in a while even though I didnโt want to.
Still, I told no one of the depression I was feeling.
As months passed, I noticed I developed bad anxiety and up until a couple months ago I would wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. My depression was no longer about the sadness that I felt, it was about all the insecurities I thought I could just bury. I was suddenly worried whether or not I was good enough for medical school, whether or not I had a future, or how I felt like a constant disappointment to my parents.
Iโve tried a couple times in the past to kill myself but I never had the courage to do it. I kept thinking about how selfish that would be but I soon realized it wasnโt selfish at all. This pain that Iโm feeling was going to go away. How do I tell someone what Iโm feeling when Iโve barely come to terms with it myself? My sorority fought to break the stigma of depression but still Iโm struggling to let people in.
Eventually I just became numb. I no longer worried about what would happen to me or anyone else. The pain was far to great to go through again and the numbness seemed like a happy medium.
I donโt blame anyone. I still love every single person in my life. I just donโt love myself enough to keep fighting anymore.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I feel like everything is falling apart I'm just going to get straight to the point I've just moved across the country and I have no friends, the whole thing has been hitting me really hard and school has started and I still haven't found friends. Before I left I tried to setup a hangout with me and my close friends and I invited my best friend of 7 years and he said sure, the day comes and he doesn't show up and he doesn't reply to my texts. He said later that he was busy and his phone died and he was sorry which felt like some major bs but I didn't say anything. I was on a mine realm with him and it was fun and he started playing less and less and eventually the server stopped working and he said he didn't know what happened. That was about a month ago and I'm finding out that he reset the realm and kicked me off it and invited some other people. He doesn't reply to my texts much and when he does they are one word answers. Ever since I told him I was moving he started becoming more distant and idk, is that really all it takes, I was friends with him for 7 years and before I even left he just gave up on me. Why? We were so close but he just didn't care anymore. On top of all this I can't really talk to my family so idk, I just feel alone and it's taking a toll on me. I may sound like an attention whore or something but I just really want there to be someone out there who cares just a bit.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Neutral feelingsAnyone else here feels so depressed that most times you're just in a neutral state where u can't cry or laugh even when you try so hard?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I'm thinking about committing suicide because of what I've done and I'm worried of consequences, should I just go ahead and kill myself ?I was depressed and so I made prank calls to a gas station. I said I was gonna light it up on fire and loot it and throw molotov cocktails into it to light it on fire. I am now worried that I'm going to jail for this. I did it twice. I was depressed and wasn't thinking correctly. Should I just go ahead and kill myself ?
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
:/I almost killed myself today. Im so tired
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Cereal or toast Please help a briโish child in need of decision making :)
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Remember to sign the petition to end the real pandemic: erosion. The link is below. http://chng.it/fCV4WszxtF
Thank you for signing. We're saving the world one signature at a time.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
the grammys were actually correct this year Nas won the best rap album and all actually good rappers were nominated for their work (such as freddie gibbs, Jay electronica, royce da 5'9)... tho Meghan the stallion won best rap performance and song we all know the queen beyonce carried that whole thing and is the only reason why she won.
so yeah the grammys were actually good
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I feel like the worst human being (kinda long, in-depth of my day and boring)I usually don't talk to anyone about my issues. But my thoughts have gone so cloudy again as they haven't been for years and I don't know how to act. Sorry if everything is all over the place but I have no one I could share these thoughts with so they're kinda messy.
Last year was probably one of the best in my life, if not the best. I found a handful of new friends, went traveling to places I always wanted to visit (not out of country but I have no interest in that anyway). Had no worries. Even the stress of finishing my bachelor's project wasn't all that bad because my friends were there to help and my family was so supportive.
But this year is literally the opposite. Uni debt is killing me. I still live with my parents and while I'm very young and they don't mind, I feel like a leech. I don't have enough money to do the things that usually make me happy or even leave the house to begin with. I barely see my friends and they're also busy. I lost contact with some of them even. I think my thyroid issue is also contributing to my depression and just making it worse than it already is. I can't think. I can't remember things to the point where I'm scared. Nothing feels real everything is a blurr. Especially time. I feel horrible everyday. I can't find a job because of my anxiety even though I and my family would really need the money. I hate it but the thought of necessity stunts me even more. It's like I'm already dead trapped inside a breathing body. I don't have the energy to finish my projects or improve my artistic skill while everyone around me is successful. I hate everything. I just want to sleep and not have to deal with reality because I simply don't have the energy. I know what I need to do I just can't do it. I constantly think of slitting my wrists before going to sleep so that I could peacefully bleed out without intervention since nobody would talk to me until at least 10hrs later.
Well today was my breaking point. It seems so trivial and uninteresting to the outside person but it's just that last straw y'know. One of my problems is that I can't wake up on my own. I just can't. I can't get myself out of bed whatsoever and I absolutely despise that fact.
It was around 12:00 when I actually kind of woke up but again I just couldn't do anything. One thing I always plead my mother to help me with is to wake up. I love helping her with everything I really do. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Like I actually have a purpose. I really just want to make her happy because I genuinely love her despite her flaws. But I also like to be in control of the small things I still have control over. And one of them is the option to have enough time to tend to my private projects (I'm an illustrator and cover my uni debt with that). Even if I don't do them because of a fall back I know I was in some form of control. It will have been my fault if I didn't do them as planned. But if I don't even have the time, that option is being taken away from me and it kills that little sliver of motivation I might've still had. That makes me feel helpless and just continues the cycle. Well 13:00 breaks in and I actually yanked myself out of bed somehow. My thoughts were 'hey, if my mom would've needed me she would've called. Also it's sunday and yesterday and the day before I helped clean the entire house so there's probably nothing to do.' Well, no. I was barely awake when my mom asked me to go grocery shopping (really a super minor thing). Apparently it's one of those sundays where shops are open so she wanted me to get some things. I was incredibly disappointed and guilty. I already woke up that late and now I need to waste even more time? I really don't mind going but...just wake me earlier? And here's the thing, this might've not shaken me as much if this was a one time occurence but it's not. She does this everytime. There's not a single thing I ask of her but this: "please wake me earlier if you need me. Please" I love helping her it's the least I can do as someone living in her home but I just don't want to feel so helpless. I tell her that everytime but she doesn't respect that. Nor does it seem like she respects my time. When I ask her why, she always says: "I left you sleeping (I don't know how to properly translate it to keep the same essence but it basically makes it seem like she's doing me a favour. Like I enjoyed sleeping so long) It's your own obligation to wake up." It is. You're 100% correct. But I'm completely incapable. I feel so incredibly guilty. I've tried everything. Everything. Nothing works, I just go back to sleep. It was hilarious when she suggested using my alarm.....like I didn't have at least 5. Like I didn't try every gimmicky alarm that promises to wake you up. Like the one where you have to turn in a circle to turn it off etc. She doesn't understand it. And everytime I try to explain my problems she just interrupts me after the first two words I say, yells at me and locks herself in her stupid room. That's the absolute worst. I really just want her to know that I'm sorry. I'm not doing it on purpose. But the only thing she takes away from it is that I'm too lazy to go grocery shopping. That I don't want to help her. I would've done it but I was just still in this small state of desperation and disappointment (I dont know what else to call that feeling) I just wanted to know why she didn't wake me before I went. So yeah she locked herself up and I felt isolated again. Depressed, disheartened and isolated I had a terrible mental breakdown in the bathroom. Probably cried for an hour at how she just doesn't understand, isn't willing to help and simply repeats this cycle over and over again. I don't know if I would wither away more or flourish if I lived alone. Well I wasted away in that bathroom and could only think of how much I hate this. I had one good year in my life and now everything is so helpless again. Just like when I was 13. Death would be so easy as there's nothing to hold me back. But this one year is taunting me with how "It gEts BeTter" bullshit.
No. It's not
Everything repeats itself. I'll never break out of it.
Fast forward to after my breakdown and I feel a tad relieved. I'd love to go shopping but she didn't tell me what she wanted so I don't know what to do. I see she was about to finish dinner in the kitchen before she locked herself in her room so I tried to do what she left unfinished. Since I didn't really know what exactly she wanted to cook I got over my fear to confront her, knocked at her fortress and asked what I could still do in the kitchen. I'm only met with: "Nothing, it's already late and I'll only finish your dad's dinner, you can do whatever". So yeah, what I did really didn't matter. Somehow she just brings back how "I didn't want to go grocery shopping. And I rather wanted to do nothing. " I try to tell her that that isn't the case but she asks why I didn't come to her earlier then. Well, I would if you wouldn't lock yourself in your fortress like that and make yourself seem unapproachable. Her: "well I didn't vanish, I was still here." Well...why lock yourself up then?
Anyway nothing I say fucking matters to her and I just can't break this. I'm sorry I couldn't wake up on my own, I'm sorry I can't do anything, I'm sorry I disappoint everyone so much, I'm sorry I don't have a job yet, I'm sorry my live choices brought me to this point. I really wish I was different but I'm so out of control. Everything I do takes at least 2 hrs longer than it should and my mind just doesn't work. I know this seems like the most spoiled and bratty and dramatic behavior to all of you but I'm just so tired of having nobody care about how I feel. Not having anybody that wants to help. Everyone just telling me that everything is my fault. I know it is, but I just can't do it alone. I can't take it anymore. Everything requires 200% effort but I only run on 1% battery yet nobody seems to get that. I really wish I just woke up dead so I didn't have to do it myself since I don't even have the energy for that. But man, would that be nice.
I'm gonna visit my sister in another town soon, but I don't even think I can do that. She knows even less about how I feel since she only sees me about once a year, so she just thinks even more that I'm some sort of drama queen. I wish I could open up to her but she has even less experience with depression and would just tell me to see a therapist. I did. Multiple. Only had terrible experiences that led to even more shit. I can't open up to someone like that and I only feel judged. Worst part is that I know for fact that my mom will gossip about me to my dad when he arrives and only make it seem like I'm a lazy bitch again. As if he didn't hate me enough already and thinks I was a spoiled crazy bitch. I hope I won't accidentally hear that but our walls are paper thin.
Sorry for the length of this monolith or if I broke any rules. I'm new to this subreddit and only lurked on my main account. I'm just absolutely exhausted and alone. I was hoping to do so much today but I can't even get up from this dumb chair and this aura from my mom hating me makes me even less motivated.
Tl;dr this year is one of the worst and a minor inconvenience just broke my whole psyche.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Iโm constantly in pain. I honestly want a hugIโm on antidepressants. Iโm trying so fucking hard not to feel bad all the time and bring everyone down. I just feel like Iโm a useless failure and I wanna die so badly but I donโt want to hurt anyone. Itโs so scary, I just feel so confused and upset and in pain. I hate myself so much. Iโve been dealing with this stuff and Iโve tried so much Iโm just so so tired and I just want a break from it all and just feel like Iโm worth anything
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I want to end itToday I attempted to hang myself. while I was doing it I felt like I was fading about to pass out or something but for some reason something stopped me. Now I have marks around my neck and I want to end it I tried again but I just canโt go through with it. Iโm only 19 and Iโm so tired of life itโs to the point where I just want to kill my self everyday I wake up I sleep with my blades so I cut myself when I feel bad I was clean of self harm for a month then I gave up on it. I just want to be happy and have friends and a girl to take care of me like Iโm not in a good place right now. I just want to be held so tight and loved. I donโt think many people would miss me even if I died today. I pray that Iโll get through it but it doesnโt seem to even make a difference. Iโm sorry for ranting but I have no friends or anyone else to tell this to
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Ik a lot of people hate kaceytron but she is so funny tho Her fan base is so toxic but she is so funny
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
i dont deserve to be happyhey!!
so my life is falling apart. im stuck in a routine, i have no motivation to change anything, my parents love me but they are really emotionally abusive. they hate everything i do. how i dress, how i talk, and even how i stand. and i always try to do the right thing and change for them, but its never enough. i hate living here and i cant move out any time soon. i also have serious trust issues. i was never in a relationship, but now a guy i like likes me back. and i dont feel happy about it?? honestly im just so anxious and feel like i will ruin it way too soon. whenever something good happens, i feel like i dont deserve it or it doesnt belong to me. plus i am so scared of the future, i hate it. time goes by so fast, i feel like nothing ever happens and days are just passing me and i cant catch up. i know i can change all of this but i feel stuck. i live on the 5th floor and well if i jump head first, maybe i can die. i cant keep on living like this. i will try to change something, but if things stay the same in next month, i will jump.
im sorry you had to read all of it. thank you all. i know yall are good people if you spend time on this subreddit helping people, or just making your own post. this is kinda hypocritical lol. im sorry for everything.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
goodbye <3i am out of here. i can't fuckin do this shit anymore. it's all going to be over in 30 minutes.
enjoy life.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Mitras has some more advice for getting a boyfriend *Compliment his windows, his house windows. By doing that he'll know you care*
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Please, I just need motivation. I just need that final push over the edge. The straw that breaks the camel's back.I don't know why I'm such a fucking pussy at this, the deed should have been done years ago but I'm an idiot who can't seem to figure it out. I just need to somehow find the balls. Like why can I get right up to the edge of a high building but pussy out before actually jumping?!? It's so goddamn simple but I still can't go through with it.
I don't want to be here any more! I want to leave. I hate it here. I hate the people and they hate me. I hate how nothing's ahead for me except more failure and trauma. I hate how I'm unlovable and have no qualities that would make someone even pretend to care about me. I hate how I'm disposable. I hate how other people can at least charm or manipulate others into liking them but I can't even do that.
I'm so fucking sick and tired of being alone and scared shitless and constantly in danger and helpless to do anything about it. I'm so fucking sick and tired of the worry and the pain and the nausea and the crippling anxiety and the night terrors and the fight to survive physically and emotionally. I'm so fucking sick of being used and made a laughingstock and a scapegoat and target practice for other sick depraved individuals. I'm so sick of hating and being hated. I'm so tired of it *never* ending.
I didn't even make the decision to be here but somehow I'm the selfish person for wanting to leave.
What can I tell myself so that I *don't* chicken out this time?
I'm so fucking done.
Please.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I'm Lonely. Going to end my life. I'm sorry.No idea where to post this but I'm so lonely, I love watching Liverpool FC but always on my own. I hate myself.
I hope you can enjoy every second you have with friends and family you have. Let them know you care about them.
What is it like to get a text asking how you are?
Im so alone
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Ima try pull my first all nighter rn It's currently 1:20 am, I've tried staying up all night with my best friend but the latest I've gotten was 6 am... Ik, pathetic
I've had a very *healthy* amount of coffee today so that should help, anyone got any tips for staying awake? My parents are asleep so I can't jump around or stuff lol
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
GoodbyeI am a coward.
So. Basically. I am not loved. I am a failure at absolutely everything.
I don't wanna be "that guy" but I met this girl a few months back. She was the light of my life but I threw it away. It was on me. Before I met her I was having having a very bad depression. She helped me out of it, she was the one. But I burnt the bridges. We lost contact. I feel very bad for it. And I am sorry about that if she reads this. When I lost her that was the nail in the coffin. I have been sober a few days since that day we lost it. My family dont love me. I have a good workplace, but it doesnt matter I dont love it. I'm drunk now. It doesnt matter. Nothing matters to me anymore. I dont have a purpose.
I am sorry, mom.
Thank you reddit.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I don't knowI don't know who I am anymore.
I feel nothing.
I'm split in two. I let everything build up and I let it all out on one drunken night out. I've not been the same since. Something broke in me then. I've only told two people about it. I don't remember much, just such intense emotions.
I'm empty. No thoughts on my mind save for this stream of text. I can't imagine the future, I can barely remember what I did this morning.
I know that when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll be okay. But right now I just want to give up, sleep and not wake up. Each day is the same. I'm so fucking tired.
I just wish I allow myself to open up to someone. I wish I would just stop pretending that I am strong and that I don't need help.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
I am looking for good animeโs to watch Iโm looking for ones that have action but are not to action packed, have good characters, and have a good romantic plot. Preferably with multiple seasons.
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
What are some legit ways to make money? Iโm 13 and broke and tons others like me wanna make money and all these tutorials on YouTube donโt work :(
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Unpopular opinionโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโ Chase is a good songโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โfight me
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
Any GAMERS want to chat I seem to connect more with gamers
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
## Instruction:
Label the Reddit post below as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". Do not add explanations.
## Post:
โฎ An Excerpt From The Entire Bee Movie Script โฎโฎโฎBee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
## Label (respond with one ["suicidal", "not suicidal"]): | not suicidal | train |
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